


Being different

by LifeLove



Category: Football RPF, Marco Reus - Fandom
Genre: All members of the BVB, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifeLove/pseuds/LifeLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco Reus is gay, but he fights against his feelings. Will he ever find the love of his life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Being different**

When he first noticed that something was different, Marco was 16 years old. While all of his other friends became more interested in women, he just didn´t care at all. All he thought about all day and even at night, was football. He made plans on how to improve his skills, practiced longer than anyone else in training and when he came home, he spent hours watching football games. If he knew one thing for sure, it was that football was his life and only love.

One day, his friends invited him to a party. Apparently, it wasn´t one of the parties where they sat in front of the TV watching football games and eating chips the entire evening. There were girls invited. "Marco," his good friend Robin told him when they were sitting in class, "guess who we´ve invited to our party tonight". Robin was really excited, his eyes shining while Marco looked at him curiously. "Who?" Marco asked. "The girls in our class!" Robin almost fell out of his chair, he was hopping up and down nervously. "Isn´t that cool? Maybe Anna and I will finally kiss!!".

Marco sighed. Robin and his crush on Anna. She was probably the most beautiful girl in their class, yes, Marco knew that, but in his opinion, she wore way too much make-up for a 15-year-old and less clothes than a girl should wear at that age. But apparently, Robin had a crush on her for what felt like ages. He talked about her all the time, pointing at her when she wasn´t looking and when Marco and Robin had sleepovers, Robin always discussed with Marco how he could possibly get her to like him. Since Robin was Marcos best friend, he didn´t stop him from talking about her and tried to help him as much as he could, but if he was honest to himself, this topic annoyed him. He didn´t understand what was so great about her, really.

The day of the party arrived, and Robin became more and more nervous. They were at the flat of one of their classmates and most of the boys were already there. Suddenly, the door bell rung. "That must be the girls" a guy named Mark screamed and ran to the door. Yes, the girls were there. Most of them were wearing really tight tops and short skirts, showing of way too much skin. Marco´s classmates didn´t seem to mind. In the contrary, they looked even more excited than before. As the evening went on, they started dancing and drinking beer and Marco found himself sitting on the sofa alone, while Robin was kissing Anna in the corner of the room and all of his other classmates were busy flirting, too.

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. "Hey!" someone said. It was Lisa, one of the girls he had actually talked to in class before. "Wanna kiss?" she asked, looking at him invitingly. This took Marco off guard. Did he want to kiss her? He hadn´t kissed anyone before, but if he was honest to himself, he never really wanted to. He had never thought about kissing a girl before. He knew that his friends thought about girls all the time, but he had other things in his mind, mainly football. "Hello! Marco! I´m talking to you!" Lisa looked at him. She bit her lip, looking a bit anxious. "If you don´t want to, we don´t have to... I just...I have never kissed a boy before and I thought...I thought that you and I could maybe try it together and...I´m really sorry." She became red and looked away. Marco knew that he had to make a decision. He could stay the looser that all of his friends made fun of, because he hadn´t kissed a girl yet and had been more interested in football than anything else, or he could kiss her and the guys would envy him, because Lisa was really pretty.

Oh fuck it! He thought and leaned in. His first kiss was sloppy and wet. Both of them didn´t really know what to do and it felt just weird. He didn´t stop, but it didn´t get better either. Their teeth were clashing together and when their tongues met for the first time, neither of them knew how to react. So they just stayed there for 5 minutes, tongues circling around each other, but Marco felt nothing. Yes, he couldn´t really enjoy it. When the party was over, Lisa hugged him and told him that she wanted to go on a date with him. He said yes, just because he didn´t want to disappoint or hurt her, but in reality he wanted to do nothing more than go into his room and watch football games for at least 4 days in a row. Lisa left, and his friends congratulated him.                         

And that´s how it all started. Suddenly, he had a girlfriend. she wanted to meet him every day after his football training. Usually, they sat on his bed and kissed. Sometimes they would eat ice cream together or go to the cinema. Since Robin and Anna were together now, too, the four of them met regularly on double dates. When Robin and Marco were alone, Robin told him about everything that happened between him and Anne. They slept with each other at least three times a week, and Robin didn´t stop telling Marco about every single detail. He raved about how good the sex was and wanted to know everything about Marco´s love life.

But there was nothing to talk about: Marco and Lisa hadn´t had sex yet. It´s not that Lisa hadn´t tried it, but every time Marco had stopped her before anything serious could happen. He didn´t really know why, but he didn´t want to sleep with her. When he thought about it, he became really anxious and scared. He didn´t really know what was wrong with him. Shouldn´t he be happy that he had a girlfriend as hot as Lisa? Wasn´t he supposed to sleep with her? When Marco was alone at night, he often masturbated and tried to think about Lisa, but he didn´t feel anything. No arousal, nothing. Soon he began to worry. Why couldn´t he feel anything? Nothing. Not even a single thing? So every time Robin asked, Marco changed the subject as fast as he could and tried not to think about it anymore.

Apparently, that didn´t really work. At night, he spent hours thinking about his feelings and his life. He didn´t love Lisa. He had never been in love with anyone before. Maybe he was not able to love anyone. Maybe he would stay alone for the rest of his life. His thoughts worried him even more. He didn´t want to be lonely and die all by himself. That is why one night, he came to a conclusion: He didn´t love Lisa now, but he was sure that he could change that. Maybe he just had to sleep with her and then he would finally feel something. That night, he fell asleep really late, but he had made a decision: He would try it.

Everything was ready. Marco had ordered Chinese food and layed the table. There were several candles all over the room. When Lisa arrived, she looked around stunned. "Wow!" her eyes became bigger, "did you do that all for me?". "Yes, I did." admitted Marco. He blushed. Suddenly, he felt the anxiety again. He pushed it away. They ate mostly in silence, until Lisa spoke up and talked about her day and how it has been. Marco couldn´t really concentrate on that. He just looked at her mouth, which was moving really fast, but he didn´t hear a word.

"So Marco, why am I here? Why are there candles everywhere?" Lisa suddenly asked. Marco jerked at the question. He took all of his courage and said: "I am ready now. I think I want to go further in our relationship. I want to sleep with you." "Really? Oh wow that is amazing! I mean... I wanted it for a really long time now..." Lisa said and smiled at Marco.

Then, she came to him and sat on his lap. Soon they were kissing. "Let´s go to my bedroom, ok?" Marco said. He guided her into his room and she began undressing herself. Suddenly, she was standing in front of him naked and he couldn´t help but stare at her. "Touch me" she said and he did. While he discovered her body, Lisa fumbled at his trousers and managed to get them off. She was groaning and panting at his touch, but the only thing he could think was: "This is it. You´re going to do it."

Marco closed his eyes and laid on top of Lisa. He kissed her. He really concentrated and tried his best, but his member wasn´t doing what he wanted him to do. After a while, Lisa broke the kiss and looked down at his cock, which was still soft, Marco broke away. He grabbed his trousers and ran out of the room.

Soon, Lisa followed him. She assured him that it could happen to anybody, that she wouldn´t mind and that they could try again sometime, but Marco told her to go away. Now he was completely sure: He was emotionless and numb. He would never experience love. Something was completely wrong with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first story ever. I have been reading fanfictions for a long time now, but I never had the courage to write one on my own. There will be spelling and grammatical mistakes , so I already apologize for that.  
> And just so that you know: The first part will be all about Marco´s past, therefore you have to be patient, but he will meet Auba sooner or later;)


	2. Chapter 2

Lisa tried to call him at least 20 times the next week. Marco never answered the phone. Luckily, they had summer holidays and therefore he didn´t have to see Lisa again. He spent the days in his bed, doing nothing except for feeling miserable and hating his life. His parents were pretty worried. Every 50 minutes or so, his mother looked into his room, asking if he needed anything. One day when they were eating dinner together, his father asked him why he didn´t spent time outside playing football with his friends. Marco just stared at his plate and said nothing.

Eventually, the holidays were over and school began. But what happened then took Marco off guard. As soon as he entered the school hall, people started whispering. He noticed it right away, but didn´t really know why. In class, he went to his place next to Robin who looked at him immediately after Marco had sat down."Dude! I haven´t seen you for ages? Why didn´t you call me? I thought we were friends!" he whispered. "Sorry, I didn´t feel well." Marco responded. "Is it because of that thing? Listen, that happens to anybody sometimes, believe me!" Robin said.

"What thing?" Suddenly, Marco felt really anxious again. "You know, that you didn´t...that when you and Lisa...you know!" Robin was clearly uncomfortable now. "Oh god! Did she tell you? How could she do that? That is so embarrassing!" Marco couldn´t believe it. "Actually, she basically told everyone we know. But let´s just forget about that. She is not worth it and you shouldn´t care about what people think of you" Robin touched Marco´shoulder, who had his head buried in his arms. He wanted nothing more to become invisible or lead into a prison for people like him, who were strange and couldn´t feel anything.

As time went on, there were new stories that were told in school and sooner or later, people didn´t mention "the accident" (how they called it) anymore. Of course, they didn´t treat Marco the way they did before, but since he had Robin at his side all the time, he managed not to feel too bad about that.

Summer became autumn and autumn became spring. Marco played football, met Robin and played football again. Robin broke up with Anna, but they came together again soon after that. Marco tried to avoid parties or large groups of people in general, always worrying that they might find out that he is strange.

* * *

 

Basically everything changed in April. Marco was on his way to the training when he bumped into a tall, slim figure. He lost his balance and fell onto the ground. "Oh no! I´m really sorry!" he heard someone say. "I didn´t see you!" Marco looked up and saw probably the most beautiful boy he has ever seen. He was tall and had blue eyes that had a sparkle in them. "It´s okay. I´m Marco" Marco managed to say, suddenly nervous. "I´m Leo" the boy said. "I´m new here." "Oh so you´re coming to play in our football team?" Marco asked. "Yes!" Leo responded.

From that moment on, Marco enjoyed training even more than he did before. He couldn´t really stop himself, but he got to training earlier every day, because he knew that Leo would be there early to. They usually spent their spare time sitting in the dressing room together and talking. Marco learned that Leo loved football as much as he did, lived a little bit outside of Dortmund and that he loved watching comedy movies as well as playing FIFA.

After several weeks, Marco took all his courage and asked Leo if he wanted to play FIFA at his house with Marco. "Sure!" Leo said and Marco suddenly felt something in his stomach that he had never felt before. A feeling that took him off guard, but that felt good nevertheless.

On the day that Leo came to play FIFA, Marco felt really nervous. They had agreed to meet at six o´clock and Marco spent the hours before that pacing around in the house , a behavior that got on the nerves of his parents and he even cleaned his room 4 times in a row, trying to make sure that everything was tidy.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Marco´s parents were in the cinema and his sisters were out, too, meeting their boyfriends. When Marco opened the door, he felt that feeling in his stomach again. Leo looked so beautiful in his tight trousers and white t- shirt. "Hey!" Leo greeted him. "Hi! Come in" Marco said and lead Leo into the living room. They started playing FIFA almost immediately, but after an hour of playing, which Marco really enjoyed, Leo put the controler aside and looked at him.

Marco stopped the game and watched Leo curiously. "I..." Leo spoke up. "I have to tell you something!" "You can tell me everything" Marco responded. Leo nodded. He looked down on his hands, avoiding Marcos eyes. "You know that you are my best friend and I like you" Leo started again. "Yes, I like you too Leo, where is the problem?" Marco asked, not getting what made Leo so anxious. Suddenly, Leo looked up. He moved on the sofa until he was sitting right next to Marco. He bend over, so that Marco could feel his breath on his cheek and closed his eyes...

...And then Leo pressed his warm lips on Marcos and Marco´s brain stopped for a second. All he could think about were Leo´s lips that were on his, firmly but soft and he felt a warm wave going through his entire body. Suddenly, he felt himself grabbing Leos hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. His legs felt weak and his heart began beating really fast, but Marco didn´t want to stop. He wasn´t able to stop. This felt so good. After a while, the kiss broke off and Marco found himself looking at Leo, who was watching him with his beautiful blue eyes wide open. "Marco.." Leo mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we are still reconstructing Marco´s past. I know the way he met Leo was very cheeky and stuff like that happens in basically every love story ever written, but I personally like it;D  
> Hope you enjoyed it too!


	3. Chapter 3

And then realization hit Marco. He had just kissed Leo. He had just kissed a boy. And it didn´t feel weird as it did with Lisa. It felt just right and his body had reacted. He had never thought that that could happen with him. The last year, he convinced himself over and over again that he was strange and couldn´t feel anything and that he would probably die lonely. Now, all of his thoughts were disproved. He COULD feel something and if he was honest to himself, kissing Leo felt great. So when Leo looked at him questioningly, Marco grabbed his shoulders and kissed Leo again, because fuck it, he was not dead inside.

After a few minutes, Leo broke the kiss only to look Marco deep in the eyes and asked: "Sorry but I have to ask...What is this between us?" "I... I don´t know..."said Marco, suddenly confused, "I... I like it. I mean, I like kissing you". "I like kissing you, too" confirmed Leo, "So does that mean that we are in a relationship?". Marco thought about that. He definitely had feelings for Leo. Did that mean that he was gay? Probably. Yes, he knew that having a _boyfriend_ instead of a _girlfriend_ wasn´t normal. Especially in the football business that wouldn´t be acceptable. But if he was honest to himself, he didn´t want to stop this. He had never longed for anybody before and now that he had experienced how good it felt to be kissing someone (in contrast to the times he and Lisa kissed), he didn´t want to stop. Maybe they didn´t have to tell anyone. Maybe they could become a couple and meet secretly.

Suddenly, Marco realized that he hadn´t said a thing in what must have been around 3 minutes and Leo was staring at him questioningly. "Yes!" he gasped out "Yes, I want to be your boyfriend". Leos face turned into a huge smile when he moved forward and hugged Marco. They spent the rest of the night snuggling and hugging and kissing until Leo had to go, but he promised to visit Marco again the next day.

And so time went on. Marco and Leo met every day, but they didn´t tell their families about their relationship. Of course, Marco´s family noticed that Leo came around often, but they just thought that he was his best friend and didn´t question this behavior. But in reality, when Marco and Leo told them that they would play FIFA in Marco´s room, the two boys actually spend their entire time kissing in the bed. They discovered each other´s bodies, jerked each other off and sometimes, when Marco was close to his orgasm, he had to bite into his cushion to stop himself from screaming out loud.

Of course, his friends at school and especially Robin noticed this strange behavior. "You don´t have time for me anymore!" Robin told Marco more than once a day. Marco felt sorry for that, and yes, Robin still was his best friend and he liked him more than anything, but spending the afternoon with Leo was something that he didn´t want to miss. Marco often thought that everything would be easier if he had the courage to tell Robin about his relationship, but every time he scrapped the idea, because he was too scared that Robin might hate him.

"So, you have a best friend, right?" asked Leo one evening when they were lying in Marco´s bed together. Marco had his laptop on his lap and they were watching a movie, Leos head on Marco´s shoulder. Marco´s parents were in the cinema, so they had the entire evening for themselves. "Yes, his name is Robin." Marco answered.

"Oh cool, so when do I get to meet him?" asked Leo and looked up. "I...I haven´t really told him about us, I thought we wouldn´t tell anyone " Marco watched the screen intensely, avoiding Leo´s gaze. "Yeah, not the other football players and pupils in our class, but do you really want to tell me that your closest friends and family don´t know about us?" Leo moved away a bit. " As I told you before, I didn´t know that I was gay before I met you. I don´t say that I don´t want them to know, it is just still very difficult for me and I think I need some time." said Marco. "So you have told your family about me?" he asked Leo. "Yes, and they are perfectly fine with it" Leo responded, "They want to meet you, but hey!" he stroked Marcos arm when Marco jerked at the mentioning of Leo´s parents, "if you´re not ready yet that´s totally fine. I remember when I first realized that I was gay, I was so scared to tell my parents that I didn´t really talk to them for at least 3 weeks. The only thing I can tell you is that in the end, they were fine with it. They didn´t hate me for being who I am. And since I know your family a little bit and I am sure that they won´t hate you either. But yes, let´s just take it slow, okay?" Marco smiled at him relieved. He was lucky to have a boyfriend like Leo.

"You are so great!" Marco said and gave Leo a quick kiss on the lips. "Yes, I know, I have beautiful eyes, an astonishing body and my character is just so perfect that..." Leo started but was interrupted by Marco, who had put the laptop away and was no pushing Leo onto the mattress. "You are pretty bigheaded, you know that?" he growled and started kissing Leo. First, the kiss was rather innocent and sweet, but soon Marco pushed his tongue against Leo´s lips. Leo opened his lips and let Marco explore his mouth. Their tongues were circling around each other and Marco felt an incredible pleasure building up in his body and especially in his groin. He moved so that he lay right on top of Leo. He could feel Leo´s erection on his thigh and couldn´t help but break off the kiss and groan.

"Marco, oh god, I need you" Leo gasped out and turned Marco around, so that he was straddling Marco. He put his hands under Marco´s shirt and his fingers drew little circles on Marco´s sides. "Off!" he demanded and Marco obeyed. He put his hands above his head and Leo removed the shirt. "Now you!" Marco said, but Leo just smirked. "No. Today it´s all about you. Listen babe, I have never done this before, but I always thought about it and I want to try it...can we maybe try something new?" "What do you want to do?" Marco asked, a little bit of insecurity in his voice now. "I know that we both aren´t ready to have sex yet, but I was wondering if I could blow you?" Leo said while his cheeks turned red.

Marco´s member moved in his pants at the thought of Leo blowing him. Of course, he had thought about that before. He had watched enough adult films to know how two men could pleasure each other. And now Leo really wanted to do this. "Yes! Oh god, please" Marco panted. Leo grinned happily. "Okay, I don´t know how to do this, so if you feel uncomfortable, just tell me ok?" Marco nodded.

Leo began caressing Marco´s body with his fingers, stroking every inch. At the same time, he started kissing Marcos neck and moved down slowly. Suddenly, Marco felt his hot breath over one of his nipples. When Leo started to circle his tongue around it, Marco screamed out loud. "Yes, so you like that" Leo groaned and moved to Marco´s other nipple, repeating the action. Then, he moved even lover, kissing his way over Marco´s abdomen until he reached Marco´s belt.

"Can I?" he reassured himself once again and when Marco nodded, he made quick work of Marco´s pants and underpants until Marco was lying in front of him completely naked. At that point, Marco thought that he couldn´t stand it anymore. His member was already leaking pre- come and he was as hard as he had never been in his entire life. He arched his back and screamed when he felt Leo´s breath at the most sensitive part of his body.

"Oh god, Leo, god, fuck" Marco shouted and then Leo´s lips were around his cock and it felt so good. Leo was unsure at first, but when he heard Marco´s approving gasps and groans he became brave and started to move his head up and down. It took him a few minutes to find a steady rhythm, but when he found it, Marco bugged up and down helplessly, already close to his orgasm.

It felt wonderful. Marco forgot time and place and everything, just focussing on those warm lips around his member and when Leo licked about his slit he lost his control. "Oh god I, I´m going to come!" he managed to say and Leo moved away just at the right time before Marco spread his load all over the bedsheet. His orgasm was harder than ever before and Marco saw stars.

When he came down from his height, Leo was kissing and stroking his face. "So, how do you feel?" he asked. "Amazing." Marco answered. "But I think I have to help you now," he said when he felt Leos cock against his thigh again. Marco removed Leo´s shirt and started kissing his neck, repeating the actions that Leo had done on him earlier. He reached Leo´s nipples and licked over them carefully. When he heard Leo´s groan, he continued. Just as he was about to open Leo´s belt, he heard a strange cry behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

He looked up abruptly and saw his mother standing at the door of his room, her eyes opened wide and a hand in front of her mouth in shock.

"Mum!!" Marco screamed out and realized that he was completely naked. Leo grabbed the blanked and covered Marco and himself with it. "I thought you were in the cinema!" Marco said. "Yes, but the film ended early" his mother answered, "I´m going to go now, I..." she managed to say and closed the door behind herself quickly when she left. "Oh god!" Marco said in horror. He was shivering everywhere and Leo grabbed him and held him close while Marco thought about what happened. They stayed like that for a while until Leo broke the silence: "I think you need to talk to your parents, Marco. I can come with you if you want to, but you have to talk to them, believe me!" "I know", Marco mumbled and looked up, "do you really want to come with me?" "Yes, of course!" Leo responded and pulled Marco up.

They got dressed and went to the living room. It was awfully quiet. When they entered the room, Marco saw his parents sitting on the couch. "Mum, Dad..." he began. Leo took his hand and squeezed it a little bit to assure Marco, "Leo and I are together" Marco bursted out. "I´m sorry." He felt the tears welling up in his eyes. There was no response. "Mum, Dad?" Marco tried again.

Suddenly, his father moved. He jumped off the couch and ran towards them. Marco noticed that his face was bright red. He had his hands balled into fists. "This is a joke, isn´t it?" his father screamed out when he stood in front of Marco and Leo, "You´re not fucking gay, you´re joking, right?". "Dad...I..."Marco started but his father grabbed his shoulders and pushed him up against the wall. "You are not gay. You may believe that you are gay because he told you " Marco´s father shouted and pointed at Leo, " but you aren´t. Something as "gay" doesn´t exist. There are just a bunch of people that decide to be strange, for whatever reason, maybe because they want attention. But believe me, son, you are not one of these bastards. You are my flesh and blood and therefore you cannot be gay. I don´t allow you to be gay. Aren´t you ashamed of yourself? Doing something as disgusting as kissing a boy? Or what else have you two done? TELL ME!" Marco´s father pushed Marco at the door violently. Marco´s head hit the wood and for a moment, he only saw stars.

"Thomas!" Marcos mother suddenly shouted. "Let go of him!". "Don´t tell me what to do!" Marco´s father responded, looking at Marco again, "What do you even think should have happened? Did you think you could just run around telling people about your boyfriend and they would have accepted that? You´re a football player, Marco! You want to become a professional and let me tell you something: Football players aren´t gay!"

Marco felt numb. His father´s words had taken him off guard. He didn´t know what he had expected, but certainly not a reaction like that. Suddenly, realization hit Marco. His father was right. He loved football more than anything else. He always had. And now he almost threw everything away just because of...No. He liked Leo. It felt so good to be with him and...This wasn´t right. He shouldn´t be thinking something like that. He shouldn´t have enjoyed what Leo and him had done. What was wrong with him?

Suddenly his old feelings came back. The feelings that he once had, when he thought that he was strange because he couldn´t love. The hate. The hate against himself and the way he was. He WAS strange. There was definitely something abnormal in himself and he shouldn´t let that part of him show through. Maybe his father was right when he said that Marco could change and become straight again. Maybe he should try and date girls again. Lisa probably hadn´t been the right girl for him, but after their break-up he shouldn´t have concluded that he was gay. He should have waited and experimented a bit.

Then, Marco heard Leo´s voice: "How can you say something like that? Being gay is not wrong. It is something that you cannot choose and that is totally normal. How can you even treat your son like that?" Marco´s father was just about to say something, when Marco wispered: "Leo, please stop. I´m sorry. My father is right."

"What?"Leo gasped out. Marco had caught him off guard. "Do you really believe that crap that he just said? I thought you´d loved me?" Marco saw the tears dwelling up in his eyes. Seeing him like that was awful and it made Marco cry. It hurt. His chest was aching. He didn´t want to do what he was about to do, but he had to.

"Leo, I don´t love you. I was just so stupid to assume that I loved you. And my father is right. I want to become a professional football player. I don´t have time to make stupid decisions and be abnormal. I am not gay." he said, looking down at his feet. His father put his hands away from his shoulders, looking content.

"Yeah, great that you´ve admitted that. Now, don´t fool me like that again, son!" he said, calming down a bit. Leo on the other hand, didn´t calm down. He started crying really hard and looking at Marco disbelievingly. "You can´t be serious. Marco..." Marco interrupted him. "Leo please just go. Please. PLEASE" he shouted and after a bit hesitation, Leo finally turned around and left. Marco felt like he was about to die. His heart hurt. He was so sad that he had had to do this. But now, everything would be better. He repeated the words over and over again in his head: _You did the right thing. Everything will be better._ , but when Marco lay in bed that night, he gave up trying and let himself go, crying into his cushion the entire night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Blue_Night you were right:D  
> This chapter was already finished yesterday and I had to laugh when you guessed everything right:)  
> Anyway, I hope you guys liked it!


	5. Chapter 5

 

After that day, nobody in Marco´s family ever spoke about what happened again. The only one that couldn´t forget was Marco. He spent hours laying awake in his bed, an arching pain in his chest whenever he thought about Leo and the moments they´ve shared. At training, they avoided each other, but nevertheless it hurt every time Marco saw Leo. After 2 months, Marco noticed that the pain he felt became less. It did not hurt that much anymore to see Leo and he slowly started to have a normal life again. He met Robin regularly now and didn´t complain when Robin started to talk about girls. He was eager to go to parties, because he always hoped that he would find a girl that he could love there. But that never happened. One day, he met a really nice girl in a dance club. Her name was Caro. They met several times and on the third date, they kissed.

Apparently, Marco still felt nothing. At least nothing compared to what he had felt kissing Leo. But because he knew that that had been wrong, he was willing to try as much as he could to become normal again. So when he and Caro had sex for the first time, he managed to do it somehow and even though he couldn´t say that he loved it, it wasn´t bad either. So he just kept it going.

When Gladbach offered him a place in their team, he was more than happy. Finally his life was on track again. He could do what he loved and had his family behind his back. He moved into his own apartment, but except for that, nothing really changed. Robin visited him at least once a week and Marco spend the rest of it together with Caro. He really liked her as a person. She was smart, funny and sweet and it was nice to be with her.

In 2011, he played for the National Team for the first time. He was really anxious and nervous at first, but it turned out that he met two of his former best friends there: André Schürrle and Mario Götze. When he changed clubs and went to the BVB, he thought his life couldn´t get better. But suddenly, he felt that feeling again. That feeling that he had pushed away entirely until he thought it would be gone. Apparently, it wasn´t. The feeling appeared once again when he was at his apartment with Mario. Mario was telling him a story and was laughing really hard.

Marco felt a spark in his stomach. He stared at Mario and couldn´t help but notice how cute his laugh was, how bright his eyes shone when he laughed and how puffy his cheeks were. He tried to push the feeling away, but it didn´t work. From that day on, he tried to avoid Mario as much as he could, but it didn´t work. He thought about him 24/7 and soon, even Caro noticed that something was wrong.

After a while, when Marco refused to sleep with her for what must have been at least the 5th time in a row, she asked: "Marco are you gay?". Marco froze in shock. "What? No?" he responded, but he could hear that his voice breaking. "Do not lie to me!" Caro shouted. She had tears in her eyes, "I see how you look at Mario, Marco. You´ve never looked at me like that. At first, I didn´t think it was a big deal but now...I finally realize what this is all about." "No, Caro, believe me, I´m not..."Marco said and wanted to hug her, but she moved away. "No. I can´t do this anymore. I need someone that loves me, ok?" she said, crying, "and you should think about what you really feel for Mario." Then, she left and never came back.

As if the break up wasn´t bad already, soon after that, Mario announced that he signed the contract with Bayern Munich. He told Marco about his decision earlier than anybody else, but that didn´t make it hurt less. Marco felt like his heart fell into little pieces.

He spent almost the entire summer lying in bed, not eating much and feeling miserable. While he was doing that, he thought about Caro, Mario and his own feelings. He knew that he had never really loved Caro. She had been his best friend and therefore their break-up had hurt, but that had been nothing compared to how crushed Marco was when Mario left him.

Robin came to visit him, but every time Marco couldn´t really entertain him. After several tries to get Marco to go out of his bed and do something with his life, Robin usually gave up and left.

One particular day, Robin had enough. "I don´t know what´s wrong with you. Do you really want to lie in your bed and feel miserable all summer long? Where is the Marco I know? The Marco that went outside and played football even when it was raining really hard? What is this all about? Is this because of Mario?" "Mario, why Mario?" Marco said in shock, "this has nothing to do with him!" " Well, if Mario really isn´t the reason, why are you getting so defensive, Marco?" said Robin and sat down onto Marcos bed, "Listen, I wanted to ask you something for a long time now. Promise me that you won´t hate me afterwards, but I need to ask you that. You can be completely honest, it won´t change anything." "What?"Marco asked. "Are you gay?" Robin looked Marco straight into his eyes.

Hearing the same question again that Caro had asked him a few months ago took Marco off guard. Why did everybody think that he was gay? He had been gay, yes. But he decided not to be, so why was everyone asking him about that? "No I´m not!" Marco couldn´t help but scream. "Are you sure? Really, Marco you can tell me everything..."started Robin but Marco interrupted him: "I AM NOT GAY. I don´t want you to EVER mention this again, okay?" Robin hesitated. "OKAY?" Marco screamed and Robin nodded.

The rest of the holidays were even lonelier than before. Marco spent most of the time hating himself. And thinking. Again. About his feelings and the fact that he had maybe been in love with Mario. Every time these thoughts came up, he pushed them away. Like he always had. Because having feelings for another guy wasn´t normal. It wasn´t right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is just a brief summary of what happened after Marco´s break-up with Leo. I know it´s not long and I´m not really good at embroiding things, but I thought this chapter would be necessary.


	6. Chapter 6

When summer camp started, Marco was relieved to have something to do with his life again. He was fed up with himself and his lazy behavior. He needed distraction, so when he saw his team mates standing in front of the building, he couldn´t stop smiling. They greeted each other and raved about their holidays. Marco listened, but didn´t really respond when the others asked him about his holidays.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise coming down the street that led to the training camp. A golden lamborghini came down the road, the gold reflecting the sunlight. Inside the car, you could hear a rap song, which was really loud, but Marco couldn´t understand a word. "Oh this must be the new one," Mats said next to Marco. "What new one?" Marco wondered. He hadn´t really paid attention to the news in the past months, so he had no clue about the players that Borussia Dortmund had bought. "I think his name is Aubameyang. They say that he is pretty crazy" Mats whispered into Marco´s ear.

The car held right in front of them. A man got out of it. Or should he better say a Christmas glitter ball? The man was a little bit taller than Marco, he had dark skin and dark eyes, but that was not all. What really stood out were his clothes. His tight, white jeans flattered his skin tone and enhanced his long, slim but muscular legs. He wore a white t-shirt, a golden leather jacket and a gold necklace that said "Swag".

Marco couldn´t help but stare at the figure in front of him. The thing that fascinated him the most was the hair of the stranger. It was thick and dark, but it was styled in the most extravagant way Marco had ever seen, upwards, almost an Iroquois, but way cooler than that.

"Hi" The stranger introduced himself in broken German. "I´m Auba, I´m your new teammate. My German is really bad but I´ll try my best." He started smiling, looking from one to another and Marco´s heart stopped beating. The new guy (Auba- he reminded himself) had the most wonderful smile that he had ever seen. It was wide and made Marco want to smile, too.

"Hi Auba!" Kehli said and greeted him. "Welcome to our team." The others started introducing themselves, too and then, Auba stood in front of Marco, who croaked out: "Hi, I´m Marco". Why was he so nervous all the sudden? Marco wanted to slap himself. Get it together man!

"Hi Marco, nice too meet you." Auba said and when he moved away to say hello to Mats, Marco watched him. He noticed that Auba had tattoos, which looked really great on him. After Auba was done greeting everybody, training started. It was intense and they went to their hotel rooms straight after that.

When Marco entered his room, he saw that someone else was already there. A suitcase lay on one of the beds, and clothes were scattered everywhere. Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Auba came into the room. "Marco" he smiled his huge smile. "Guess we are sharing a room then". "Yeah, cool!" Marco managed to answer and tried to ignore his heart that had started pounding really fast. They both started unpacking, but except for a few words, they didn´t talk a lot.

In the evening after dinner, the team met in the hotel bar. Most of the players were busy talking about their holidays, but since Marco still didn´t want to mention his holidays, he ended up on the couch together with Miki, Auba, Mats and Schmelle. Schmelle was asking Auba a lot of questions about his past and Marco had to admit that he was really interested in that, too. He craved to get to know Auba a bit more.

First, Auba tried to answer in German, but since his German was really bad, they soon changed into English.

" Yeah, so I have always been loving football," Auba said, "As a kid, I always practiced my interviews and imagined how it would be to play football professionally." _Just like me_ \- Marco thought.

"I am Gabonese, but I grew up in France. In my heart I am Gabonese and therefore, I decided to play for the national team of Gabun." said Auba. Marco loved that. A football player knowing exactly where his roots were.

"Yes, some people think that I am crazy. But to be honest, I can be calm ,too. It´s just my outer appearance that makes people think that I´m really confident. But you know, I grew up in a really small house and we didn´t have much money. Now I do have money and I think that you should live your life the fullest if you have the opportunity to. Because it is a gift that was given to me, and now I am able to live the life that I´ve always dreamed of and that I love, because that´s whats really counts to me: Being happy and content. I don´t care what the others say, really. " Auba answered Schmelles question and in that moment Marco thought: " _Gosh, he is just perfect_."

They sat together for another 2 hours and then, they decided to go to sleep, because tomorrow would be an exhausting day. After Marco and Auba had said goodbye to Mats and Schmelle, who had the room next to them, they entered their hotel room.

"I´m not tired at all!" Auba stated. "Me neither" Marco responded. "Well, do you want to talk a little bit more? Tell me about your childhood" Auba said and sat down on his bed, looking at Marco expectantly. Marco jumped on his bed and turned around, so that he was facing Auba. "Well, there is nothing extraordinary to tell." He started, "I grew up in Dortmund and went to school there. I first played football for the BVB, then for Ahlen, Gladbach and now again for the BVB." There was a long pause.

"That´s all? I don´t believe you. You must have some crazy stories to tell. What about love? You sure had a lot of girlfriends!" Auba laughed. Marco could feel his cheeks redden. "Yeah I had a girlfriend when I was still in school, and later I was together with a girl called Caro, but we broke up a few months ago." he lied. "And you?"

"I had a girlfriend for 4 years and we have a son together" Auba said and Marco felt disappointed all the sudden. "But we are not together anymore, you know? It just didn´t work out that well. We didn´t tell the media that we broke up, because we don´t want everyone to interfere in our private life, but I am single and ready to mingle" Auba said and bursted into laughter. Marco couldn´t help but laugh, too. Aubas laughter was just so infectious.

They stayed up until 5 o´clock, telling each other about their lifes and dreams and when they finally decided to go to sleep, Marco was very happy. He never felt so close to anyone he barely knew before. Talking with Auba was easy. He didn´t have to think about what he said. The words flew out of his mouth without the usual worries and he had no problem to talk about private things with Auba. Normally, Marco avoided conversations that went to deep into his private life, but in Aubas presence, he felt weightless and without worries.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day they were of course very tired. When they were at training, neither Auba or Marco were able to concentrate on playing football, because they were incredibly weary. Kloppo was not amused. "Go! I don´t need sleeping footballers! Come back when you are responsible again!" he screamed at them.

Marco went to the shower, disappointed and ashamed, because he made Kloppo angry. Auba followed. "Haha that guy really can be rough!" he laughed. Marco looked at him irritated. "How can you be so calm! We´re in huge trouble!" Marco said accusingly. "Marco, you need to chill. Believe me, bro." Auba grinned, "This isn´t how you should behave all the time. But sometimes, just sometimes, you should allow yourself to make mistakes and do stupid things. Because life is just too short to please everyone, you know?" Marco looked at him stunned, while Auba turned around and began undressing himself.

A few moments later Auba was naked and was about to go to the shower, while Marco was still standing on one spot without moving. His legs felt like stone."Don´t you want to shower, too?" Auba asked and turned on the water.

Marcos mind went crazy. He looked at the body in front of him. Auba was slim, but well-muscled. His skin looked perfectly smooth and made his tattoos stand out even more. And the lower parts of his body...

Marco looked away. He hated himself. How could he think something like that again. He shook his head and started to undress himself, too. Suddenly he noticed that a particular part of his body hadn´t stayed unimpressed by the view in front of him.

Oh god, Marco thought. This is embarrassing. He put his clothes back on and hurried outside the shower. "Marco, where are you going?" he heard Auba ask and he answered: "I forgot something on the pitch!" while he left the dressing room.

Marco ran to the little Hotel pavilion on the other side of the training ground. He said down on a bench and rested his head on his hands. Not again! he thought. Why does this always happen to me? I´m so disgusting. Why isn´t that feeling going away? Dad said it would go away.

 _Maybe,_ a little voice in his head said, _Maybe the feeling is never going to go away. Maybe you are gay and there is nothing you can do to change it. You tried so hard. But it never worked. Isn´t that a sign?_ No it isn´t!! Marco thought. Then I have to try harder! I have to avoid Auba. Yeah, that´s what I am going to do, he decided. Like I did with Mario and that certainly worked.

His plan didn´t succeed at all. There were still a lot of days left in the training camp and avoiding Auba while they were sharing a room together didn´t work. That is why he ended up spending even more time with Auba than he wanted to. They went on a morning run together, played together in training, sat next to each other at lunchtime and in the evening, they spent hours talking like they did in the first night.

Every time Marco tried to distance himself from Auba by -for example- going to Mats and Schmelle, Auba followed him and appeared on his side a few minutes later. When they got home, Marco was relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved, because now that they were not sharing a room anymore, he would not have to see Auba every day and sad, because he if he was honest to himself, he longed to see him. Auba had become his best friend in rapid time and every minute they spent together made Marco happier than ever.

When Marco arrived at his apartment, Robin waited there. He brought another good friend of them, Marcel, with him and wanted Marco to tell him everything about the training camp. He started reporting everything when Robin interrupted him : "Who is Auba?".

Marco realized that he had been mentioning Auba all the time without telling Robin and Marcel who he was. So he quickly tried to make it up by saying: "Auba is the new member of our team. He is Gabonese and really fast. He is really cool and nice and we shared a room at the training camp." "So he is really nice you say? How does he look like?" Marcel asked. "Well, he looks crazy, but really good actually. He has black skin and brown eyes. His hairstyle changes every day but it is always pretty extraordinary. He likes to wear clothes that stand out, but they fit him and his crazy personality-" Marco suddenly realized that he had been talking maybe a little bit too enthusiastically and now Marcel and Robin watched him with huge grins in their faces.

"Sounds like he is a fun person. You have to introduce us to him!" Robin said while Marcos face became hot and he looked down embarrassed. "Yeah, well anyway..." Marco continued his story, trying to avoid talking about Auba.

The next day, when he woke up, Marco swore to himself that he would finally avoid Auba from now on. So when Auba tried to talk to him after they were done, Marco excused himself and left the dressing room. He got into his car quickly and drove home.

It worked like this for 2 weeks. Everyday Marco left the training as fast as possible and didn´t talk to Auba. He noticed that Auba wanted to talk to him, but every time he tried to, Marco ran away.

The problem was, that Marco´s feelings didn´t go away. Instead, they grew stronger. He caught himself staring at Auba during training and couldn´t help but notice the way his muscles moved or his hair flew in the wind when he was running really fast.

When Marco heard Auba laughing with the teammates, Marco felt a sting in his heart. Why couldn´t that be him? Why wasn´t he the one that Auba told the jokes to? _It´s your own fault_ the little voice in his head said. _You could have had all of that._


	8. Chapter 8

One day, Marco was just preparing everything for a movie night, his doorbell rang. When he opened the door, he couldn´t believe his eyes. Auba was standing right i front of it.

"Hi," Auba said. He looked gorgeous. His legs were accentuated by a tight black jeans and the t- shirt he wore showed his muscled arms. Marco became very aware of the fact that he was only wearing an old t-shirt and sweatpants.

"What are you doing here?" Marco asked. "Well, you didn´t talk to me in training or after that, so the only way of seeing you was to come here." Auba stated. "Oh" was everything that Marco said. _Fuck._ he thought. "Well, can I come in?" Auba asked, but at the same time, he had already stepped into Marcos apartment. He looked around. "You have a really nice apartment" he stated. Then, Auba saw the couch and the table in front of it, where Marco had prepared some snacks. He went there directly and sat down.

Marco couldn´t do anything but stare at him. "Won´t you sit here with me?" Auba said and patted on the seat next to him. In Marcos brain, nothing really worked anymore. It was completely empty. He managed to sit down next to Auba, who looked at him expectantly. "So, why have you been avoiding me?" Auba asked.

"I haven´t been avoiding you- " Marco started, but Auba interrupted him: "No, don´t lie to me like that. I thought we would be friends? I don´t know about you, but I felt like we were really alike and then you don´t look at me anymore and all the sudden run away every time I want to talk to you!"

Marco knew that there was no chance to lie anymore. So he decided to stick with the truth. "Auba, I´m really strange. Something is just completely wrong with me. I´m not normal. I didn´t think that you wanted to be around me, because seriously, I´m a mess." Well, it probably wasn´t the whole truth, but at least a part of it.

"That´s all? That´s why you have been avoiding me? Marco, I don´t care if you are strange. I´m crazy, too. I thought that that is what binds us together, the craziness. We are not normal. But that is good like that!" Auba said.

"I´m sorry." Marco managed to say. The words were stuck up in his throat. "Well, is everything fine then?" Auba asked. "Yes, of course." Marco responded. "Okay. What film are you watching?" Auba wanted to know. "Inception," Marco said while Auba grabbed the strawberries that were on the table and started to eat. He put his legs on the table and leaned his back at the couch. " Cool, I always wanted to see that film!"

And then they watched the movie together. After that, they talked. For a long time. Like they did in the training camp. Marco felt really happy again.

At 3 o´clock Auba excused himself "Sorry, my son is coming over for the weekend, I have to go now." , but they promised on meeting again soon.

After the weekend was over, Marco was nervous. He hoped that Auba would visit him again, but Auba didn´t mention anything like that in training. When they said goodbye, Marco felt sad. Even though he didn´t want to admit it, he had hoped that Auba would come again. _Maybe he didn´t like it on Friday._ the little voice in Marcos head said. _Maybe he noticed that you are too strange for him. Or even worse, he knows that you are feeling something for him._ When Marco got home, he sat on the couch. He felt like crying. Then, the doorbell rang.

It was Auba. He had a pizza in his hand and gave it to Marco when he entered the flat. He sat on the couch as if it was his apartment, without asking. It felt normal. Marco was relieved that he came. They spent the evening playing FIFA and talking .

It became a routine. Every evening, Auba came to Marco and they spent the time talking, watching TV or playing FIFA. As time went on, Robin joined them and sometimes even Marcel came, too, but to be honest, Marco preferred it when he was alone with Auba.

Of course, their teammates noticed their close connection and didn´t stop making "couple jokes" about them. Auba always reacted with a smile and a clever response, while Marco felt uncomfortable.

* * *

 

"Hey Marco," Kevin said one day, "I´m throwing a birthday party on Sunday, are you coming?" "Yeah sure," Marco responded. Then, he remembered that Sunday was actually his and Aubas "Eating-diner-at vapiano" day and he felt sad all the sudden. He loved Sundays and didn´t want to miss it. So he asked: "Who did you invite?"

"Our whole team and some other friends of mine, why do you ask?" Kevin responded. "Nothing" Marco said and changed the subject.

Sunday came faster than Marco had thought. They had won the game on Saturday, so they were in a really good mood. When Marco arrived at Kevin´s house after 2 hours of dressing, standing in front of the mirror, going back to his closet and re-dressing, he finally decided to wear black trousers that he bought together with Auba and a long white shirt that he combined with a black leather jacket.

"Marcoo" Kevin screamed when Marco rang the doorbell, "Come in, grab yourself a beer and enjoy yourself!". Marco congratulated Kevin and took off his jacket. Then, he entered the room. His teammates were sitting on the couches and talking to each other. In the background, Marco could hear some RnB music. He stood at the doorframe hesitantly, searching for Auba, but he didn´t find him. Then, Robert screamed: "Marco, come here!" and patted next to himself. Marco followed his invitation and sat next to him.

For the next hour, he tried to focus on the conversation that was going on, but all he could think about was Auba´s absence. Did anything happen? Where was he?

"Marco, is everything ok? You are barely talking!" Mats said. "No, everything is fine." Marco responed. "He just needs to drink a little bit more!" Kevin laughed and gave Marco a new beer.

After 2 hours, Auba still wasn´t there. Marco had begun drinking everything that Kevin gave him and now he felt really dizzy.

Suddenly, the door burst open. "Sorry guys," said Auba, "I needed to bring Curtys back to his mother and then there was so much traffic and fuck! Is that German beer?" "Yes it is" Kevin laughed and handed Auba a bottle of beer. "I always wanted to try that!" Auba said and started jumping up and down like a little child. Marco felt a sudden rush of love running through his body. Auba was just so extraordinary.

While Marco was still thinking about how great he was, Auba had already sat down next to Marco. "Hey" he smiled his wide smile at Marco, who felt great again immediately. "Hey," Marco responded.

At the evening went on, Marco felt the alcohol more and more. He didn´t care though, because everyone else was pretty drunk, too.

Suddenly, Kevin screamed: "Ok, ok, let´s play truth or dare" and waved an empty bottle of coke above his head. "Oh god no!", Kuba muttered, "How old are we, seven?"

"Don´t be such a party killer, Kuba!" Lukasz said. They all sat down on the floor. Lukasz started to spin the bottle. It landed on Mats. "Truth or dare?" he asked. "Truth", Mats said. "Ok, do you watch porn?" "Yes I do." Mats responded. He spon the bottle. It landed on Kehli. Kehli chose dare. "Finally someone that is brave!" Kevin applauded. "Do a strip tease in front of Mitch!" Mats said and when Kehli did it without hesitation, everyone started to cheer for him.

Now it was Kehlis turn. The bottle landed on Auba. "Truth or dare?" Kehli wanted to know. "I´m going to start with truth, but I´m not a pussy believe me, I will chose dare next time", Auba told them. "Ok. Did you ever have sex with a guy?" "Yes I did." Auba said and while Mats and Neven started to look at each other and scream: "I knew it!", Marco felt numb. Did that really happen? Had Auba just admitted that he liked guys, too? He couldn´t believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it is pretty obvious what is going to happen next, so I hope that you are looking forward to it!:)


	9. Chapter 9

As the game went on, Kuba had to kiss Lukasz, Kevin was forced to call his mother and tell her that he was gay (which he actually wasn´t) and Roman admitted that he liked to watch romantic movies, which made the whole team laugh.

Suddenly, the bottle that Roman had spun landed on Marco. "Marco!" he laughed. "Finally! Truth or dare! Don´t be a pussy, choose dare!" "Ok, dare" Marco said. "Marco I..." Mats wispered something in Roman´s ear. "Oh that is great! Marco I want you to kiss Auba!" Roman continued.

"What!?" Marco gasped. "I´m not doing that!" "You have to Marco, don´t be so lame. I had to kiss Lukasz and did I complain? No. So come on!" Kuba said. "I really don´t want..." Marco started, when Auba moved closer to him. " You don´t have to be scared." Auba grinned, "I´m a really good kisser".

Marco stared at Auba. His face was so close to Marco´s that Marco could see the small lines next to Auba´s mouth and small dimples on his cheeks. Auba closed his eyes and then, Marco leaned in.

When their lips met for the first time, Marco felt a spark like he had never felt before. His whole body reacted and he got goosebumps. Everything next to him became blurry. He didn´t hear the voices of his teammates anymore, he could only feel Auba´s lips that were warm and soft and welcoming and Marco couldn´t think of anything else in that moment.

Suddenly, Auba grabbed his head and pulled Marco closer. His tongue moved along Marco´s lower lip, asking for entrance. Marco opened his mouth immediately. When Auba´s tongue met his, Marco´s arms became shaky and he had to rest them on Auba´s shoulders so that they wouldn´t fall down. Auba discovered every single part of his mouth, and oh god, it felt so good.

The kiss was not fast or heated, but it was really intimate instead. Marco had never felt so vulnerable, aroused and happy at the same time. The kiss made him feel heavenly. After some time, he became more courageous and started to lick into Auba´s sweet cavern. Auba tasted like the beer that he had drunken and something else- himself. Marco loved it.

Suddenly, Auba moved away from him. Marco came back to his senses and noticed that their teammates were all staring at them. Marco coughed and managed to say: "Ok, now it is my turn." He took the bottle and started to spin. The others took this as an invitation to start talking again, which made Marco feel more comfortable. While he told Schmelle, whom the bottle had landed on, to kiss Neven, he could feel Auba´s eyes on his.

For the rest of the evening, Marco barely talked to Auba. He was afraid that Auba had noticed how much he had enjoyed the kiss. That would be so embarrassing. Marco was extremely worried that Auba could hate him, that he would never talk to him again. After all, Auba certainly wouldn´t want to be friends with someone that loved him.

 _Loved him? Did I just say that I love Auba!?_ Oh god, Marco thought. But it was true, he had to admit that to himself. Over the past few months, he fell for Auba so hard he never thought he could fall for someone. And even thought there had been so many stop signs on the road, he had just passed them and driven himself into this feeling. It just felt so good.

Marco thought about the kiss. It had been perfect. It was as if Auba´s lips were made for him, because they fit together perfectly. "Marco" a voice interrupted his thoughts. Marco looked around just to see Auba watching him. _Oh god his eyes,_ was all that Marco could think in that moment. _They are so beautiful._ "I´m leaving, do you want to walk with me? Or apartments are in the same direction." "Yeah sure," Marco responded.

Outside, the fresh air woke Marco , who was still a bit fuzzy from the alcohol, up. He took some deep breaths. "Are you coming?" Auba asked and Marco hurried to get next to him. They went together in unison, but Auba was very quiet. Marco had never seen him so quiet before. It made him worry. Had Auba felt that he mend more to Marco than a best friend? If yes, was he going to tell Marco that he didn´t want to see him again. The thought alone hurt Marco and he had to take a breath to calm himself down.

When they were almost at Marco´s flat, Auba spoke up. "Marco...I´m really sorry." he stopped walking and looked at Marco. "Sorry...for what?" Marco asked confused. "I know that the kiss has been awkward and I know that you must have noticed how much I liked it." Marco couldn´t bring out any words. He just stared at Auba in disbelief. _He liked our kiss??_ "I can understand it when you don´t want to see me anymore, but I can´t help it. You are just such a wonderful person and so fun to be around. It just happened. I couldn´t do anything against it. I really tried, believe me. But I really really like you Marco." Auba looked down at his shoes, up into Marcos eyes and down at the ground again.

Marco knew that he had to say something, that he had to react in some way, but he didn´t know what to do. A warm feeling spread all over his body. All he could think was: _He likes me, he likes me!_ like a love struck teenager. He realized that he hadn´t said anything for too long when Auba said: " I´m sorry Marco. I´m never going to contact you again. Please don´t hate me. I´m going to go now." Then he turned around and walked away.

"No!" Marco screamed and ran after him. He didn´t know what had come into his mind, but there was a strong feeling in his body that told him that he shouldn´t let Auba leave like that. After all, Auba wasn´t alone with his feelings, because Marco liked him, too. He didn´t like to admit it, but it was true.


	10. Chapter 10

He managed to catch Auba who was about to cross the street. "Auba" Marco shouted and touched Auba´s arm. The ladder turned around and looked at Marco. He seemed surprised, as if Marco´s reaction had taken him off guard. He certainly hadn´t expected Marco to follow him. Suddenly, Marco didn´t know what to do anymore. He just stood in front of Auba, looking into his eyes that were even darker at night and tried to figure out what to do next.

A thought appeared in Marco´s head. _You like him. He likes you. Why not kiss him again?_ What? Marco thought. I can´t do that. I´ve worked so hard and suffered so much. I´ve not been pushing away my feelings for so long just to give up right now. That´s not going to happen.

But then, he saw the expression on Auba´s face. It was full of hope. _He wants me to kiss him. He desires me._ The little voice in Marco´s head said. _No one has ever looked at me like that._ Marco moved closer to Auba, resting his hand on Auba´s arm. _Just one night. You haven´t felt like this since you broke up with Leo. You deserve to be happy again. Even if it´s just for one night. It will feel great. Do it!_

Auba stared at Marco disbelievingly, his eyes wide open while Marco was fighting with himself. Then, Marco decided that the voice in his head was right. He DID deserve to be happy. And kissing Auba would make him very, very happy. Encouraged by the alcohol, that made him want Auba even more than before, Marco moved all of the thoughts that were telling him not to kiss Auba away and the next moment, his lips lay on Auba´s.

It felt incredible. First, the kiss was very hesitant. Just two pairs of lips lying on top of each other. Then, Marco grabbed Auba´s neck and pulled him closer. He started to move his lips against Auba´s . Desire started to build in Marco´s belly. As earlier, he lost his feeling of time and place and all he could think of was how great Auba smelled and tasted. Marco took all of his courage and pushed his tongue against Auba´s mouth. Auba let him in immediately and Marco started licking into his sweet cavern. He pulled Auba even closer. Marco´s whole body was on fire. Auba´s tongue met his and Marco had to groan.

His groan encouraged Auba to start biting into his lips, softly, while he started stroking Marco´s neck and hair at the same time. Suddenly, Marco broke the kiss. "Let´s go upstairs." he managed to say and Auba reacted immediately. He took Marco´s hand and ran up the stairs to Marco´s apartment. Marco tried to open his door, but his hands were too shaky. Auba took the key out of his hand and did it himself.

When they were inside, Auba threw the key onto the near desk and turned around, pining Marco at the door. He kissed Marco again, but this time, the kiss was more heated. Marco responded to the kiss and laid his legs around Auba´s waist. His cock was already hard and he could feel Auba´s member rocking against his thigh. "Marco, oh god!" Auba groaned between two kisses. "Bedroom?" Marco asked. "Yes!" Auba said and carried Marco to his bedroom. He let him down on his bed and followed him afterwards.

Auba lay down on top of Marco, so that their crotches were on top of each other. When he kissed Marco, he started to move, rubbing their members together. The friction made Marco gasp. Auba used this moment to start nibbling and kissing down Marco´s neck. He sucked at the skin and Marco felt his legs and arms become weak. He wasn´t capable of doing anything anymore, just capturing the feeling .

Auba started stroking underneath Marco´s shirt while he was still kissing Marco´s collar bone. "Can we take this off?" he asked. Marco just nodded and a second later, he lost his shirt. Marco felt exposed, but he had no time to feel vulnerable or ashamed, because Auba started kissing down Marco´s torso. When his lips reached Marco´s nipples, Marco arched his back. Auba circled his tongue around them and bit down lightly and Marco couldn´t suppress a groan.

He looked down at Auba, who was now licking his way down Marco´s abdomen and couldn´t help but notice that Auba was still fully dressed. That wasn´t right. Marco remembered the day he had seen Auba naked in the shower. Auba had been so hot and beautiful. He longed to see and touch Auba´s beautiful body and therefore, he started to tug at Auba´s shirt. Auba understood his plead and removed it.

Marco spent his time exploring Auba´s sixpack with his hands, moving along his muscles and his V-line. Then, he took Auba´s nipples between his fingers and squeezed lightly. Now it was Auba´s turn to groan. It sounded great, Marco realized. Probably the most wonderful sound he had ever heard.

Then he felt Auba´s hands at the top of his trousers. Auba kissed Marco and looked him deep in the eyes, as if he was asking for permission. In response, Marco pulled Auba close and kissed him with all that he had. Auba took off Marco´s trousers and right after that, he lost his own, too. Auba moved down to Marco´s feet and started kissing up Marco´s legs. Marco´s mind went crazy. His member was already leaking pre-cum through his boxers and he knew that Auba had seen, but ignored it.

Marco had never been so aroused by just a little bit kissing and touching, but it was different with Auba than it had felt with Leo. He had loved Leo´s touch, too, but when Auba kissed and caressed him, he felt as if there was nothing in the world except for him and Auba. He felt like he was addicted to Auba, constantly longing for his touch. Auba could to anything with him, and Marco was sure that he would like it.

When Auba reached his boxers, Marco couldn´t stand it anymore. He needed Auba to touch him where he desired to be touched the most. His body was on fire and he screamed: "Please Auba, oh god, Please!" Auba looked up and moved to Marco´s face again. He watched Marco intensively. "You want me that much?" A grin appeared on Auba´s face. It widened even more and became his unique laugh that Marco loved so much.

"Are you making fun of me?" Marco said, suddenly very self conscious. "No, I´m not. I just think that you look incredibly beautiful like that, so needy and willing to let me do dirty things to you. " Marco choked at Auba´s words. "Your face is so red, you look so cute. And your body..." Auba wispered while his hands moved lower again. "And Marco..." he moved so that his head was right next to Marco´s ear, "I absolutely love it when you groan and pant for me, so don´t hold back ok?" Marco felt like he was going to explode. His cock had never been so hard in his entire life. He needed to be touched there, he couldn´t stand it anymore. Auba´s dirty talk had aroused him even more.

Finally, he felt Auba´s hands at the top of his boxers. He pulled them down and moved back again. "What are you doing?" Marco groaned frustrated. "Don´t be so impatient" Auba grinned and looked at Marco. I´m just admiring the view". His eyes followed the shape of Marco´s body and landed on his cock. "Wow, Marco. You are so hot, do you know that?" Auba groaned.

Then, he touched Marco´s dick and everything around Marco became blurry. "Yes!" Marco screamed and encouraged by that, Auba moved his hand up and down slowly. He started to kiss Marco at the same time and Marco felt like he was in heaven. Marco moved his hands to Auba´s boxers and pulled them down. He wrapped his hand around Aubas hard member and started stroking it, too. Soon they were stroking simultaneously and Marco couldn´t hold back his moans anymore. He broke the kiss and let his head fall back just to let out a groan. When he looked up again, he saw that Auba was watching him. There was so much desire in his eyes. Marco loved it. Auba looked at him as if he was the most perfect person on earth. _No one has ever looked at me like that._ Marco thought.

Then, Auba did something that took Marco off guard. He put Marco´s hand away from his own dick and pressed himself right on top of Marco. He grabbed both of their dicks and started to get them off at the same time. The friction was unbearable. Marco felt his orgasm approaching really fast and his screams became louder. Both of their cocks were leaking pre-cum, which made it easier for Auba to slide up and down with his hands.

Suddenly,Marco heard the most beautiful sound in the world. "Marco oh god, Marco". Auba screamed, his voice hoarse and it sounded so sexy. Auba´s voice made Marco fall over the edge and he came hard over both of their stomachs. Auba followed soon after that and he screamed Marco´s name when he came.

When Marco came back from his height, after what felt like an eternity, Auba got up and cleaned the cum on their bellies. Marco couldn´t help but stare at his naked figure. Auba looked incedibly hot and beautiful. _And you just had sex with him._ the voice in Marco said and even though Marco tried to suppress it, he had to smile at the thought. He felt happier than ever. He had never thought that Auba could have liked him in that way.

Auba returned onto the bed and without words, he hugged Marco, who leaned his head against Auba´s chest almost automatically. They stayed like this and Marco could feel how Auba´s heartbeat and breath became slower. Marco was tired, too. So he closed his eyes and fell asleep, completely satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m really busy at the moment, so I won´t update as often anymore. Sorry for that.  
> Anyway, I hoped you liked this chapter;)


	11. Chapter 11

Suddenly, Marco woke up. He looked at the clock next to his bed. It was 6 o´clock. And then it happened. He realized where he was and what he had done. Auba was still beneath him, his breath steady. Marco looked at him in his sleep. He looked so peaceful, but the only thing Marco could feel was pain. _Oh god. What did I do?_ He felt panic growing in his body.

Marco stood up abruptly. He couldn´t do this anymore. He had slept with Auba. He had loved it. But that was not how he should have felt. He had known that he was strange. He knew that he was disgusting, but he had thought that he would be able to suppress this weirdness of him. Apparently, that hadn´t worked out at all. Marco stumbled to his bathroom. He couldn´t breathe anymore. Helplessly, he started to grab the sink with both hands and looked at himself in the mirror.

_Who was this guy looking back at him? That guy had just had sex with a guy, and he had liked it. That was not how a human being should have felt._ A wave of self- hatred overcame Marco. _I don´t deserve to call myself human. I don´t deserve anything. I´m not worth anything. I´m just wrong. Why am I still alive??_

It felt like there was no air in his lungs anymore. He tried to breathe, but it didn´t work. Suddenly, he could hear his father in his head again. _Something as "gay" doesn´t exist. There are just a bunch of people that decide to be strange, for whatever reason, maybe because they want attention. But believe me, son, you are not one of these bastards. You are my flesh and blood and therefore you cannot be gay. I don´t allow you to be gay. Aren´t you ashamed of yourself? Doing something as disgusting as kissing a boy?_ He was disgusting. A bastard. Not worth living. Why couldn´t he be normal?? He felt the tears running down his cheeks. They were hot and when some of them reached his mouth, they tasted salty.

Marco sank down onto his knees, his hands still wrapped around the sink. He let out some desperate sobs and he was shivering uncontrollably. He tried to hide it for so long. He fought against it. But nothing had worked.

Somehow, Marco managed to get up again. He looked into his cupboard and saw little knife that he used to cut his sleeping pills into little pieces. It could be so easy. Just a little cut, and he wouldn´t have to worry anymore. His father wouldn´t have to be ashamed of his bastard of son anymore and the rest of the world would be happy too, because something abnormal like him would no longer breathe the same air as them. Marco grabbed the knife and looked at it. He moved it to his wrist, trying out how he would do it, how he would cut.

But then, Marco saw Auba in his head. The memories came floating in forcefully, fluidly as if they were trying to stop him. _Auba. His brown eyes that reflected the sun. His long, slim legs running along the pitch, so fast. Marco saw Auba passing the ball to him and when he did that, Auba turned around and smiled his unique smile._ Marco felt something warm in his chest. _The scene changed. There was Auba and he lay on top of Marco, looking at him as if he was the most beautiful person in the world. He leaned in to kiss Marco. Another picture appeared. Auba, standing right in front of him, telling him that he liked Marco. The surprised gasp when Marco ran after him and kissed him. The little laugh that Auba had made when Marco hadn´t been able to open the front door._

The knife fell onto the floor. Marco sank down again. He couldn´t do that. He couldn´t do it because of Auba. He wanted to be with him so badly, his heart felt like it was ripping apart into little pieces. He wanted Auba to look at him like this again. He wanted to feel Auba, kiss him and love him.

Suddenly, the door opened. Marco felt that two strong arms were wrapped around his body. They held him tight. Then, he heard Auba´s voice: "Marco, oh god, my dear Marco." and when he saw the knife on the floor, Marco heard a gasp from the other one. Marco couldn´t say anything. He opened his mouth but he couldn´t bring out any words. He wanted to explain himself. He wanted to say: "Auba, it isn´t how it looks like. I didn´t want to do that. I decided against it. Because of you", but he didn´t do it. There was silence.

When Auba spoke up again, his voice was hoarse. "Did you...I mean...Why...Oh Marco!". Marco felt something dropping onto his right shoulder. Something wet. Soon after that, it happened again. Auba was crying. Marco hated himself. He had not only hurt himself, he had also hurt the most important person in his life, and it made him feel really sad. "I´m sorry." Marco managed to say and he bursted into tears.

They stayed like this for what felt like an eternity. Auba wrapped around Marco, holding him close, both shuddering and crying desperately. When they calmed down a little bit, Auba asked: "Can you stand up?". Marco nodded and with Auba´s help, he got up on his feet. "Let´s go to the living room" Auba suggested and that was what they did. Auba left his hands on Marco´s sides, never putting them away. He guided Marco onto the couch and sat down, too. Then, he pulled Marco into an embrace again, so that Marco´s head was lying on his chest. Marco could feel and hear his heartbeat. It made him calm down even more.

"Do you want to tell me what happened? Did I...I mean...Did I do..." Auba started but Marco interrupted him: "You didn´t do anything wrong. You are just perfect. It´s me. I´m strange." When Auba didn´t respond, Marco moved away from Auba and looked him straight into his eyes. They were warm and soft and Marco felt the urge to tell Auba everything. He had never felt so loved and secure in his entire life. He realized that Auba was the one person on earth that he trusted the most and he felt like he could talk to him about everything.

Marco tried to speak. He tried to order the words in his head, but it was so hard. Auba didn´t push him, he just sat there, waiting patiently, while his eyes looked at Marco encouragingly.

"When I was 16", Marco started, "I fell in love with a boy for the first time. His name was Leo. We went out and it turned out that he liked me, too. Then one day, my mother caught us doing...doing...you know. That day, my father told me that he wouldn´t allow his son to be gay. He said that it was sick and wrong and that I should turn straight again. He made it seem like it was just a decision I had to make, that I could control my feelings. So I tried. I broke up with Leo and came together with Caro. I never loved her the way I loved Leo. She was my best friend, but not more. Over the years, I always pushed away my feelings and I really tried, but when you appeared..." Marco had to cry again. "I...I just fell for you so hard. And now...now I feel like I am done. I can´t push away my feelings anymore. I love you Auba and I know that that is wrong and that I shouldn´t feel that way, but I do. I do love you."

When he was done, Marco felt relieved, but also insecure. He looked at Auba.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not posting anymore. I have been incredibly busy and wasn´t able to write a word in 3 weeks:( This chapter had already been finished, but I decided to upload it later, so that there would be a shorter pause between the different parts. The next part is already finished, too, and I won´t wait that long again to post it, I promise:)


	12. Chapter 12

"Marco...I can´t believe that you had to go through all of this. You shouldn´t feel like that." Auba said and Marco winced at his words. "No!No!", Auba corrected himself when he saw Marco´s reaction. "I didn´t mean it like that. You shouldn´t hate yourself for how you feel, because you are perfectly normal. In fact, you are more than normal. You are incredibly beautiful and stunning and the most amazing person I´ve ever met in my entire life. Every time you laugh your little grin, I feel like I´m on top of the world. Your eyes are stunning, as is the rest of you. I could look at you forever and I want to spend the rest of my life being with you. I know that it must have been shocking to hear such words from your own father. You probably still love him, I know you, but let me tell you one thing: He is not right. Being gay is nothing you _choose._ It is something that you cannot change and that is in your genes. And if it is in your genes, then it is normal. It doesn´t make you abnormal to love a guy, Marco. It is as usual as falling in love with a girl. Do you remember the time I told you that happiness is the most important thing in life? I still think like that. Sometimes, life is hard. Sometimes, the people around you are mean and try to change who you are. Sometimes they succeed. You tried so hard to be someone you are not, but it has never worked. That is because the world wants you to be who you are. They don´t want a fake person. They only want you. And therefore, the people that try to change you are just wrong. Because you don´t have to change. You are perfect the way you are. I love you Marco, and I think if you love me, too, than we should just be together, no matter what the others say. Because if I can make you happy, I want to make you happy. You should be able to go around and laugh, smile and enjoy the day without any limits. I know that in this case, "the others" are your parents. And of course, you don´t want your parents to hate you. But in the end, YOU need to be happy. And if your parents don´t want you to be happy, I´m sorry but then they are not worth it. I just...I don´t know how to express what I want to say anymore. I want to tell you so many things Marco, but the most important one is that if I make you feel good and if you love me, then there is nothing wrong with that. Because you are just human, and humans crave for love, they always have and they always will. Love is the most important thing in life. And if you let me, I will give you all the love that I have."

When he heard Auba saying these words, Marco couldn´t believe his ears. He wasn´t capable of doing anything except for looking at Auba. Noone had ever said anything like that to him.

Suddenly, all the memories of the days when Marco tried to hide his feelings came floating by. He hadn´t been happy, that´s for sure. He had suffered so much, even though he had tried to ignore that. He had always tried to be strong, even though he had felt like crying. Looking back, he had just been miserable. He had craved for something that he hadn´t allowed himself to have and it had made him hate his life.

Auba was right. This was not how it should be. He should live a life full of happiness. And even though he couldn´t change it, Auba made him happy. He was the most positive person Marco had ever met and he was everything to Marco.

Marco felt something in his body that he hadn´t felt for an eternity. He felt weightless all the sudden, as if the burden that he had been carrying over years had been removed. There was no anxiety anymore, no bad thoughts, no self-hatred, just love. _I give up._ Marco thought. But it didn´t feel like giving up, really. It felt like he woke up from a bad dream and finally realized how great life is. _I don´t want to feel miserable anymore. I want to laugh, dance and scream if I want to. I want to do the things I love, without feeling sorry and weird. I want to love life and I want to be able to love Auba. I want to allow myself to do that. I don´t want any restraints. I want to be free._

Marco stared at Auba. He noticed every little detail, from the little dimples on his neck to one side of his hair that was ruffled and high up in the air, because Auba had been sleeping on it. Marco felt a rush of love run through his body. And this time, he didn´t stop it or tried to push the feeling away. It was different from the moment in front of his apartment, too, because this time, he wasn´t drunk and he could admire Auba while all of his senses worked perfectly well. He could smell Auba´s unique scent, that he loved so much and he could hear Auba´s breathing, which was fast but regulary.

Marco felt himself calm down completely. He made a decision. He wasn´t going to hide anymore. He would be himself again. And if Auba wanted to be with him, he would be more than happy to do so. He would give and show Auba all of his love, because that was what he had dreamed of for such a long time.

Marco moved forward quickly, so that he was facing Auba. Then, he leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was salty from their tears, but it was perfect anyway. It was just a quick touch, lips laying on top of each other, but it meant way more than that. In that kiss, Marco showed Auba his decision. He showed him his feelings. It was a promise. A promise that they would be each other´s second half, forever. That they would love each other no matter what would happen.

When they parted again, Auba laid his hand around Marco´s neck and started stroking his hair. "Do you promise me that you won´t do anything like that again?" he said and pointed at the knife. "Yes." Marco answered, breathless. "I couldn´t do it anyway, I had to think of you and then I realized that I wanted to be with you and that I didn´t want to leave you."

After half an hour that they spent sitting on the bathroom floor, they both got up and ate breakfast. Auba started a conversation about football and Marco was more than happy to change subjects. Because the problem was solved. Everything would be ok. For the first time in his life, he felt save.


	13. Chapter 13

From that day on, Auba never left Marco´s flat again. On the day after Kevin´s birthday party Auba drove home and came back with a huge bag full of his belongings. They didn´t have to talk about it, because it was a silent agreement between them. In the morning, before practise, they ate breakfast together. Marco soon noticed that Auba was a genius in making fried egg and Auba noted that- yeah- that Marco wasn´t a talented cooker. After training, they spent their days together. Sometimes they played bowling, went into the cinema or walked around Dortmund together. On other days, they just spent time lying on the couch together, talking.

One particular day, it rang on Marco´s door. The two lovers got up surprised. "Who is this?" Auba asked. "I have no idea. I don´t know who could visit me!" Marco responded. When he opened the door, he saw Robin and Marcel standing in front of it. _Oh._ Marco thought. He had completely forgotten about them. In all of his days he had spent with Auba, he hadn´t thought about the fact that he had two best friends, apparently, and that he hadn´t contacted them in a while. _I´m a really bad best friend._ Marco realized and felt guilty all the sudden.

"So you ARE still alive!" Robin said, accusingly. "We already thought that you would be dead!" "Hi guys" Marco said immediately trying to make up for his bad behavior over the past weeks. "I´m really sorry. I didn´t mean to ignore you guys so much. It just happened somehow. " "How in the WORLD can something like that happen SOMEHOW?" Marcel wanted to know, his voice filled with anger. "I thought we were best friends!" "I had some problems that I had to solve and-" Marco started but Robin interrupted him. "Problems? Dude, we have been best friends for ages, but you still don´t call me when you have a problem? Don´t you know that you can tell me" he looked at Marcel, "or us anything? You can always talk to us!" He looked at Marco disappointedly. His look made Marco feel even more sad. "I- it was something that I had to figure out myself and I know that you are always there for me, but I just had to do this alone, ok?" Marco tried to explain himself. "What in the world could be so difficult that you had to deal with it alone?" Marcel asked curiously.

In that moment, Marco felt a hand on his shoulder. "He tried to figure out if he loves me or not." Auba said. "And good news- he made the right decision!" he stated and stretched both of his arms out wide, as if he was telling the most amazing miracle in the world. Marco´s look switched between Auba, who was laughing his unique laugh, his arms still stretched invitingly, and Robin and Marcel, who were staring at Auba, their eyes and mouths wide opened. "You are- I mean- Does that...I...Marco?" Robin looked at Marco helplessly. "Yes, "Marco responded, "I love Auba. And he loves me. We are together now." Marco couldn´t stop grinning. "But, you never-" Marcel started. "I have not told you about that, yes. But believe me, you are really important to me, so I wanted to tell you soon. In fact, you are the first ones that know about Auba and me. Doesn´t that show how much you guys mean to me? I´m sorry, I can just repeat that over and over, but I hope that you believe me when I say that you are my best friends guys!"

"You stupid asshole. You fucking cunt. I hate you. I hate you so much!" Robin screamed and suddenly, his hands were around Marco´s neck and he was hugging him tight. "I knew it. I fucking knew it. Ever since that Leo guy, I suspected it. But you never said anything. " "I´m sorry," Marco said again. "It took me long to realize it and even longer to admit it to myself. But first, come in." he said and let Marco and Robin enter his flat. When Robin entered the room, he let go of Marco and gave Auba his hand. "Hi I´m Robin, Marco´s best friend" he introduced himself. "Hi Robin, nice to meet you!" Auba answered and shook his hand. He did the same with Marcel after that. Marco felt happy.

"Sit down please. Do you want to drink something?" Marco asked. "No, I want you to tell you what happened!" Robin responded, but he sat down nevertheless. Marco and Auba followed them. When all of them were sitting, Marco started to talk. He talked for almost half hour without any interruptions and when he was done, he found three eyes staring at him, two with a mix of sadness and happiness and Auba´s full of love.

"Wow. Dude you should have told me! I could have been there for you." Robin said and Marcel continued: "I can´t believe your father said something like that. Believe me, he is wrong. You are right just the way you are." "Thank you" Marco said. "I wanted to talk to you so bad, but I thought that you would hate me and be disgusted. I hated myself so much, I´m really sorry". His voice broke. Robin moved to Marco and hugged him. "I know, I know" he repeated over and over and when Marco calmed down a bit he wispered in his ear: "And believe me, you have made the right decision. Auba is stunning. Such a nice guy. He is perfect for you. " When the hug ended, Marco couldn´t help but smile at Robin. He felt loved and a warm feeling spread all over his chest. "Thank you guys. That means a lot to me" Marco said.

The evening went on, and Robin and Marcel started to grill Auba about his life. They wanted to know everything from his birth to the name of his left dimple and even though Marco found it quite embarrassing, he could see in Auba´s eyes that he actually enjoyed it. When the two left, they had already made plans together for the next day, because Marcel and Robin wanted to play basketball with Marco and Auba so badly, because Auba had told them that he loved playing basketball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last piece that I had already written months ago. Now that I FINALLY have time, I will start writing again. Hopefully it will work out well:D


	14. Chapter 14

After the door shut, Auba and Marco started cleaning up. While they were doing that, Auba said: "I really like those two. They are nice." "I´m happy that you think that" Marco responded. After Auba had put the last plates into the winding machine, he turned around and started to kiss Marco. "So..." he purred "After that has worked out so well, I think we need to celebrate"

Marco felt his member twitching in anticipation. He laid his arms around Auba´s neck and responded to the kiss. Their tongues met halfway and every cell in Marco´s body started to burn. It was electrifying. Without leaving his lips, Auba guided them into the bedroom and they lay down together. This time, Marco didn´t let Auba take control. He pinned Auba´s arms above his head and started to kiss Auba´s neck. He sucked at the spot that he knew Auba loved to be touched at and as a response, Auba started to groan.

Marco moved his hands under Auba´s shirt, touching the soft skin there. "Take it off!" Auba screamed impatiently and Marco obeyed. Now it was his turn to look at Auba´s body, and he admired the view. Auba was perfect. He couldn´t stop looking at him. Auba´s abs were just right, not to big but also not too small. "Turn around" Marco said, his voice already hoarse with desire. When Auba did what he was told, Marco saw the tattoo on his back. He followed the lines with his fingers. "Gosh, Auba you are so beautiful" he gasped out and Auba hummed happily. They moved again, so that Marco was sitting on Auba´s lap.

He started to kiss down Auba´s chest, down his v-line until Auba was a panting mess. "Please, oh god, Marco!" he moaned and Marco felt proud that he was able to pleasure Auba like that. He felt himself harden at the view and then, a thought struck his mind. "Auba..." he started. "Yes, love?" Auba answered. "I haven´t gone this far with Leo, you know?" he felt himself blushing all the sudden. He felt ashamed. He was 25 years old but had never had sex before. How would Auba react?

"Marco, Marco look at me!" Auba said and moved Marco´s head up with his finger. "We don´t have to do anything you don´t feel comfortable doing. I love you. And if the time comes, and you want to do more, I will be there. But if you don´t want to do it now, I can wait." "Thank you " Marco said and started to kiss Auba. "But actually, I was thinking about going one step further..." Marco continued his way down Auba´s abdomen, eventually kissing and nibbling at his belly button. When he reached Auba´s most intimate parts, he suddenly felt a hand on his hair. He looked up.

The look that he got was beautiful. Auba watched him, his eyes dilated with lust and his mouth a little bit open. "Marco" Auba´s voice was hoarse. Marco didn´t think that he would ever get enough of it. "You really don´t-" "But I want to" Marco interrupted him. Then he kissed his way down the path of hair above Auba´s member, when he finally reached the object of his desires. Auba´s member was already leaking pre-come and he took it into his hand, suddenly very nervous. Marco gave it a few strokes, before he lowered his head and licked the pre- come from the tip. He was rewarded with a loud moan from Auba who started wiggling underneath him. Marco licked his lips. Auba tasted great. _God, this is so hot. I would have never thought that I could do something like this._ But actually, he could and Marco loved it.

He pushed Auba down with his hands and took Auba´s member into his mouth. When his lips closed around it, he first didn´t know what to do, but then he became more courageous and started bobbing his head up and down. "Oh Marco, this is wonderful, please-" Auba panted and Marco started alternating between sucking and moving up and down. When he led his tongue slip through Auba´s slit, Auba was practically screaming nonsense. Marco felt proud. It was him who was Auba driving crazy like that.

Marco´s hands started discovering Auba´s balls, while his tongue licked down the underside of Auba´s member. After that, he took him in his mouth again. "Marco, I´m-" Auba moaned "I´m close. If you don´t want- " Encouraged by his words, Marco started sucking harder and he licked over the slit a few times. That was it. Suddenly, Marco felt Auba´s come in his mouth. He managed to swallow it, but it wasn´t over yet. _It doesn´t seem to end_. Marco thought, but he swallowed every single drop.

When it was over, Marco moved up again and kissed Auba. "You taste great" he said cheekily and Auba started laughing. It was the most wonderful sound in the world. Then, Auba put his hands around Marco´s face and started kissing him passionately. His tongue explored Marco´s mouth and suddenly, he moved Marco around so that he was sitting on top of him. Marco could not move, because Auba was straddling him, but when he tried to free himself, Auba stopped him. "Hey! Stay still. I think you deserve a reward for this incredibly beautiful blow job that you just gave me. You are really talented, I have to say" Auba smirked. Marco became really excited. The thought that Auba might reward him like that was hot, incredibly hot.

Before he could think any further, Auba started kissing down his neck. He started sucking and Marco was sure that there would be hickeys, but he couldn´t care less. Then, Auba reached his nipples and started biting them carefully, one after another. He circled his tongue around them and Marco arched his back. He was aroused, his member standing up proud in the air, even though Auba hadn´t touched him there yet. Then, Auba´s mouth wandered further down until Marco felt something wet on the tip of his penis. He looked down. _Oh God._ Now he understood how Auba must have felt just minutes ago. The view was amazing. Seeing Auba so close to his member, his lips closed around the tip was arousing as hell.

Marco lost it. He let out a deep growl and then, Auba took his whole member into his mouth and the growl became a scream. Auba alternated between sucking and licking and soon Marco was a moaning mess. He lost control over his body, and it felt right. He felt save, knowing that Auba would take good care of him. He didn´t have to be ashamed of his moans at all. On the contrary, Auba actually really enjoyed it when Marco screamed for him. "Oh Marco, please let me hear you. You are so beautiful and you taste heavenly. Show me how much you love me, Marco, please" Auba said and immediately continued kissing down Marco´s shaft.

Marco was so hard it almost hurt. He craved for Auba to take him in his mouth again, but it did not happen. Instead, he felt Auba´s fingers, which slowly started moving lower and lower and then- _FUCK!_ \- they were on his butt cheeks. His thumbs were drawing little circles on them. No one had ever touched Marco in this place. Marco moved his legs up, so that Auba had more access to his butt. It felt really good. "Tell me if your uncomfortable" Auba groaned and before Marco could think any further, Auba´s fingers passed his butt cheeks and moved between them. It was an unusual feeling, but surprisingly, Marco really enjoyed it.

Auba´s fingers moved around Marco´s butt crack and Marco had to gasp out loud. Auba´s movements stopped immediately."Everything ok?" Auba looked up. "Yes, this is-, please continue" Marco managed to say and Auba started grinning. " What exactly should I do?" he laughed. "Whatever you´ve been doing-, you know, touch me, touch me- there!"

Finally, the fingers were back again and then- the tip of one finger was inside of him. Marco felt his cock twitching in anticipation. He would have never thought that something like that could feel so good. Suddenly, Auba moved away another time. He stood up and took something out of his trousers. "What is that?" Marco asked even though he already had a suspicion. "Lube. Do you trust me? It will make everything easier" "Yes" Marco said and looked at Auba, who coated his finger with a thick layer of lube. His finger reached Marco´s butt crack again, but this time it moved inside more easily.

First, they stayed like that for a bit, while Marco tried to adjust to the situation. When he felt ready, he started moving carefully. Auba understood his plead and started moving his finger rhythmically in and out. At the same time, he took Marco´s cock in his mouth again. "AAAH" Marco screamed. This was wonderful. Hot. Incredible. It was all too much. Auba was kissing and licking his member while his clever finger was working in and out of Marco and after a minute or so, Marco came hard into Auba´s mouth, who swallowed every drop. It was the most intense orgasm Marco had ever had. It lasted for a long time and Marco was completely spent when opened his eyes again. The view that he got was amazing. Auba, his lips swollen and his eyes beaming, had moved up again and was now looking at Marco. "I love you so much" Auba said and started kissing Marco.


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning, Marco woke up feeling something warm and soft on his lips. _Auba_ he thought and felt something warm in his chest. He remembered the previous evening and couldn´t help but smile. "Hey, finally, you are awake. I already thought you would never wake up. Not that I would mind - kissing you is probably my new favorite thing in the world" Auba´s voice was beautiful, dark and warm. Marco opened his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to get used to the sunlight that was shining into the room. Auba´s face was only inches away from his and he was smiling at Marco with his unique and wide smile. His hair was a complete mess, which was unusual for Auba, but Marco had to admit that he loved seeing Auba like that, especially because he knew that he was the one who caused it.

"Hey", Marco responded. "And I wouldn´t mind waking up like this every morning until now." Auba´s smile grew even bigger. "Great, because that´s exactly what I´m aiming for, too." He kissed Marco again, this time using his talented tongue to explore Marco´s sweet cavern until Marco felt like he would faint from happiness. It felt right. Just when Marco´s member started to respond to Auba´s actions, Auba stopped and moved away. "As much as I would like to continue this and go further, I have to stick to my plan" "Your plan?" Marco was curious now. "Yes, my plan." Auba smirked, "Since we have a day off, I thought that we could spend it together. And the first thing that we have to do, is having breakfast in bed, which I wanted to prepare, if you don´t mind." He laughed. "Sounds amazing" Marco said as Auba stood up. "Stay here and relax. I´ll come back in a few minutes." Marco obeyed and moved his hands behind his neck. He couldn´t stop thinking that he was the luckiest man on earth.

It really only took a few minutes and then Auba entered the room with a baking sheet that had two plates with sandwiches, a bottle of orange juice and two glasses on it. "A baking sheet?" Marco laughed. "I had to improvise. You didn´t have a small table or something like that." Auba grinned. "Well, did you make these in just- let me see-" Marco looked at the clock on the bedside table, "4 minutes?" "Yes, I am a magician, as you may know." "Yes, of course, what a stupid question" Marco responded. When Auba sat down onto the bed, he helped him carry the baking sheet so that nothing would spill. Finally, Auba was sitting next to him. "I might have prepared this before I woke you up" Auba wispered into Marco´s ear. "Oh really?" Marco grinned and kissed him.

The sandwiches were amazing. Well, the most amazing thing was by far that Auba was sitting so close to Marco and that he was feeding and kissing him and Marco couldn´t be happier. After breakfast, Auba announced that it would be time to shower. "Can I come with you?" Marco asked, trying to sound innocent. "To do what?" Auba said, his eyes becoming a little bit darker. "I have some ideas that you will definitely like" Marco said while he grabbed the front of Auba´s bed shirt and started kissing him. "Sounds like a great idea," Auba responded, his voice already a bit hoarse. Suddenly, he moved his hands to Marco´s butt and lifted him up. Marco cried out, surprised, but at the same time, aroused.

They somehow made their way to the bathroom, almost stumbling over the pile of clothes in front of Marco´s washing machine. When they reached the shower, Auba let Marco down and started undressing himself while Marco did the same. Finally, they were standing in front of each other in their naked glory and admired their bodies. Marco moved forward, trying to kiss Auba, his member already hard. He could see that Auba was not doing better, but Auba pushed him away gently. "Not yet," Auba said determined, "First, you need to wash your hair." Before Marco could do anything against it, Auba had pushed him into the shower and started the water. Then, he grabbed the shampoo and pushed something into his hand. _Is he really-_ Marco thought and in that moment Auba started distributing the shampoo into his hair and Marco couldn´t hold back a moan. He moved his head back and closed his eyes, trying to feel and just enjoy the loving caress. When Auba was finally done washing his hair, Marco opened his eyes and looked at Auba.

When Auba moved closer to him, his lips only inches away, Marco said: "Stop! Your hair is a mess, I think we need to wash it now, too." Auba smirked and Marco reached for the shampoo. He tried to massage it into Auba´s hair as much as he could and Auba was rewarding him with long groans.

When he was done, Marco´s member was incredibly hard and Auba wasted no time, dropping onto the floor and a few moments later, his lips touched Marco´s tip. This time, Marco didn´t even try to hold back his moans. Auba was bobbing his head up and down and he was looking up at Marco, who couldn´t help but move his hand through Auba´s hair another time. Marco let his head fly back to the shower wall.

Way to soon, he felt his orgasm approaching and with a last flick on the top of his dick, Marco came hard into Auba´s mouth, who was swallowing his seed eagerly. Thankfully, Auba was holding Marco, otherwise he might have dropped onto the floor because of the incredibly intense orgasm.

Auba moved up and kissed him and Marco could taste himself in Auba´s mouth. Eager to give something back to Auba, Marco moved down. As soon as he wrapped his lips around Auba´s cock, Auba screamed: "Oh love, I won´t last long, making you come with only my lips was already so arousing and feeling your beautiful mouth around me is just too much, oh god Marco!" Marco smiled and started moving his head, now even more determined to drive Auba as crazy as possible. It certainly worked. After a few minutes, Auba´s legs began to tremble and his cock was pulsing in Marco´s mouth. When he came, Marco swallowed every single drop, until Auba sank onto the floor and took Marco into his arms. They stayed like this for what felt like an eternity, until Auba said: "We cannot sit here forever or we will get a cold. Let´s get dressed!"

They got up and put on some clothes. After they were finished, Marco looked at Auba expectantly. "And now?" "Now, we will sit in front of the TV all day, cuddle, kiss and just enjoy our time together." "Great idea," Marco said. He couldn´t wait to spend the rest of the day with Auba. Of course, they had watched TV together before, but that had been before they became a couple and therefore, it would be totally different now. This time, he would be able to lie in Auba´s arms instead of sitting next to him, staring at Auba from time to time and wishing to be closer to him. This time, he could kiss Auba, without having to fear his reaction. This time, he could tell and show Auba how much he loved him and Marco couldn´t wait.

They sat in front of the TV for an hour and watched Fast and Furious. It was better than Marco could have ever expected. He felt save around Auba and everything seemed normal already, as if he belonged to Auba and Auba belonged to him. Just when the film reached the most exciting part, the doorbell rang. Marco stood up and opened it. When he saw his parents standing in front of it, panic washed through his body like never before. His mind went blank, his hands and feet got wet and cold and his heart felt like it was going to burst. "Mum! Dad!" he managed to croak out. He closed the door a little bit, so that his parents couldn´t come in yet. Behind his back, he heard Auba standing up. "Marco! We wanted to check how you are doing. We haven´t talked for a while. Can we come in?" his mother asked and moved her head curiously, trying to look past Marco, who was still blocking the door.

Finally, Marco heard the click of his bedroom door, which was being closed. _Auba is in the bedroom. You can let them in. They won´t notice it._ He exhaled loudly. "Yes, of course. I´ve been watching TV." He opened the door a little wider and his parents made their way into his flat. Suddenly, a thought struck into Marco´s mind. _The glasses!!_ Auba and Marco had two glasses on the table. _When they see the glasses they will know that someone is here._ Marco panicked. When he turned around, his father was already sitting on the couch while his mother looked around his flat. On the table in front of the TV was only one glass of water. _Thank God, Auba noticed it._ Marco felt relieved.

"Is your cleaning lady still coming regulary? If she is, you have to fire her, look how messy it is in here!" his mother said, pointing at the cupboards. "She´s on holiday," Marco lied. In reality, he told the cleaning lady to take a few days off, so that he could enjoy his time with Auba. "Sit down, please. Do you want to drink something, mum?" Marco asked. "A tea would be lovely" his mother answered. When Marco returned to the sofa, his mother had sat down and looked at him expectantly.

"So, how are you doing? Is everything fine?" she asked. "Yeah, definitely" Marco started. After a few breaths to calm him down, he tried to forget that Auba was hiding in his bedroom and started talking about his life, football, his hobbies and again, football. His father only wanted to talk about his career, his chances to become rich ( _wasn´t he already rich enough?)_ and whether Marco wanted to change clubs someday.

An hour and a half passed and his parents were still there. His father had just ended a monologue about how big Marco´s chances would be to play for FC Barcelona and Marco couldn´t help but think at Auba. _He´s hiding there for such a long time now. I have to get rid of my parents!_ When the conversation ended, Marco took his chance and said: "You know, I really enjoy it when you come over, but Robin is coming in half an hour and I have to shower before that...I promise I will call you and I definitely won´t wait as long as the last time..." "Yes, of course, darling, no problem" his mother responded. "I will go to the bathroom and then we´re gone" his father said and stood up.

While his father went to the bathroom, Marco´s mother started talking about his sisters and their husbands. She told him that Yvonne was coming over for dinner on Sunday and he agreed to come as well. Just as his mother grabbed her coat, there was a loud scream.

"What was that?" Marco´s mother asked and made her way through the flat. Marco followed her. The view he got was terrifying. His father was standing in the doorframe of his bedroom, which was apparently next to the bathroom, ( _God, why haven´t I thought about that??)_ staring at Auba, who was sitting on Marco´s bed. When Marco and his mother came, his father looked at them. "When I was on the toilet, I heard a noise from here. Why is your teammate hiding in your bedroom?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it:) In my defense, I wasn´t completely unproductive this month. I wrote a short story about Auba and Marco, but I didn´t have any idea how to continue this story. Now I finally did:)


	16. Chapter 16

Marco felt like time stood still. He was suddenly aware of little details, like for example the clock next to his bed, which was making loud noises, his father, whose face had turned bright red and his own heartbeat, which became faster and faster until Marco felt the blood rush into his ears, nose, mouth and basically every part of his body. He felt the panic which settled in his bones and it felt like he couldn´t breathe. _I´m going to faint._ Marco thought, unable to control his body. He saw his father approaching him, reaching out and grabbing him at his shoulders, but Marco felt nothing. It was as if he was watching a movie he wasn´t in. He felt numb. His father was now shaking him, wanting an answer from him, but not a single sound came out of his mouth. Then he saw his father turning around.

"Hi, I´m Auba. Marco and I are together. I love your son a lot. Nice to meet you" Marco heard Auba say and saw him reaching out his hand. Marco´s father pushed it away. He was now red like a tomato, his hands balled in fists and he was staring at Auba as if he was a wild animal. "YOU ARE WHAT? DON`T FUCKING SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" he screamed and then, it happened.

Marco´s father reached out and slammed his fist into Auba´s face with force, so that Auba fell back onto Marco´s bed. "THOMAS!" Marco heard his mother scream whilst he was watching Auba falling back in slow motion.

 _Auba!_ he thought and suddenly, he came to life. His thoughts became clear and he was aware of his own body and the whole situation again. Agony clouded his mind. Noone. NOONE should harm the love of his life. Auba was all he had, all he ever wished for and all he wanted in life. Seeing Auba on his bed, unconscious, made him sick.

Marco grabbed his father at the collar and started to scream. "What have you done? How can you do that? He´s my boyfriend! You asshole! WHY HAVE YOU DONE THAT! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO INTERFERE IN MY LIFE LIKE THAT. It´s MY life. And since you don´t accept me the way I am and have always been, you are not part of it anymore. How can you even look yourself in the eyes? Are you proud of yourself? Behaving like that? When you first told me that being gay is wrong, I believed you. Because you are my father and I was young and stupid. But you know what? It NEVER went away. These feelings were always there. And do you know why? Because it is not a disease or something you can cure away. It is who I am. This is ME! And I´m not going to let you decide how I should be. Because I am this way and I won´t change. So if you can´t except that, leave my flat, leave my life and never, NEVER come back. I don´t need you in my life anymore."

In the first moment, Marco thought his father would punch him, too. But then, his father´s face turned blank and unreadable and he moved back a bit. "You are not my son anymore" he said, his voice low. Then he turned around, shouted: "Manuela, come with me!" and left.

Marco felt pain. Of course he did, because his own father had just denied him. But to be honest, it wasn´t as bad as he expected it to be. _He has hurt me way too much until now. It is enough. I can´t love him fully anymore. That´s why it doesn´t hurt so much seeing him leave. I have already stopped loving him a while back._ Marco thought. His thoughts were interrupted by the voice of his father. "Manuela?" Marco realized that his mother was still standing in front of him, staring at him with wide eyes. I´m going to follow you later!" she said and Marco´s father responded: "If you think so."

The door shut down and in the first few minutes, they continued staring at each other. Then, Marco´s mother came back to life. She ran to Auba and felt his pulse. Then, she said: "Bring me some ice in a towel. And water". Without any hesitation, Marco obeyed. When he came back with the things she requested, Auba was half awake. He was groaning and Marco´s mother quickly took the towel and placed it onto Auba´s forehead, where Marco´s father had hit him. "Do you want to drink something, darling?" Marco´s mother asked. Auba managed to nod, and Marco helped him drink out of the glass carefully.

"Oh Auba" Marco managed to say, seeing Auba broken like that. Tears welled up in his eyes and he couldn´t stop them. "I´m so sorry. This- this is all my fault- I" His mother interrupted him. "This is not your fault Marco. It´s Thomas´ fault. You shouldn´t blame yourself for that. You have done nothing wrong." Marco looked at his mother disbelievingly. _Was she saying-_ "I have to admit, when I first saw you and Leo, I didn´t want you to be gay. But that was selfish and stupid. And definitely old fashioned. All I could think about was that you could never give me grandchildren, which is wrong, because you can adopt and stuff- you know. Now I realized how stupid I was and that the only thing that really matters is that you are healthy and happy. And darling, over the past few weeks, you´ve been so incredibly happy when you visited us-" Tears started to stream over his mothers face while she tried to calm herself. "And now I know that it was because of Auba. And that´s ok. Because if he makes you happy like that, then that´s all I want and wish for you in life. I´m so sorry darling, I really am- "

While she said that, Marco reached out and pulled her into a hug. He felt her tears trickling onto his shirt, but he wasn´t doing any better, since he was sobbing helplessly on her shoulder. "Mum thank you. Thank you." he managed to croak out. "I love you so much" she said.

"As much as I enjoy your little family reunion, I´m kind of injured here" Auba said and Marco and his mother stopped hugging right away. Auba was smiling widely at them. "And I kind of feel left out, you know?" Marco´s mother laughed at Auba´s words. "Of course you had to fall in love with such a dork Marco" she said and looked at her son. Then, she pulled both of them in a hug on the bed.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, until Marco´s mother broke the silence. "Oh and by the way- I haven´t really introduced myself properly. I´m Manuela." "Hi Manuela, I´m Auba." Auba mumbled into the hug and they all started to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is relatively short, but I felt like the end had to be like that. Anyway, kudos and comments would be great:) And maybe you have ideas on how to continue:)


End file.
